She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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