i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
