I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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