Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
