even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It was confusing and full of hummus
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize