finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
