My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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