is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
