Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
