I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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