I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
