What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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