His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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