We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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