I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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