Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
