Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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