We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
