Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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