dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
As shirtless as possible
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize
