Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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