I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
