So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
