I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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