If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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