Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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