Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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