lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
