I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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