When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
