Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize