...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
