Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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