Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
