sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
