the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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