I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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