so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize