I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
