He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He passed out mid-signature
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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