I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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