The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize