and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
