I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
