Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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