question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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