Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Are we in a gay sports bar?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
