I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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