Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
