I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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