I am in a vortex of obligation.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This baby is an asshole
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
