'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
