thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
