when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
